It is Friday, March 19, 2010. The 2010 Census form arrived at our house this week. Today I filled it out and mailed it back in to the Census Bureau.
Did I feel that our government was being too nosy in asking me the questions on the Census form? No, not at all. I’m not particularly paranoid about the government.
Did it cost me anything? No. I don’t even have to spend the money to mail it back in.
How long did it take me to fill out the form? About five minutes.
Were the questions hard to answer? No. I didn’t have to use a dictionary to look up any words. I didn’t have have to search for any documents to refer to. It was far easier than the California Bar Examination.
What did they want to know? Here is what they asked:
1. How many people were living or staying in this house, apartment, or mobile home on April 1, 2010? I had to sort of guess at this question because it isn’t April 1, 2010 yet. Since two of us live here I felt reasonably secure in answering with the numeral 2 in the little box. I could have waited until April 1 to see if two of us were still living here, but being something of a reckless nature I decided to fill in the information today. Sort of my way of telling the government I’m free to answer the thing when I want to, not when they tell me two. I know my constitutional rights. Silently, though I worried some about whether I had exposed myself to the risk of some death panel they might have and some census bureaucrat might just might put me on the panel’s list for extermination. You just can’t be too careful these days.
2. Were there any additional people staying here April 1, 2010 that you did not include in Question1? I answered No. (What if someone moves in our house before April 1? Beats me. Maybe I can send in an amendment to the form later. Or if the FBI shows up maybe he/she will understand. I can always plead senility, or throw myself on the mercy of the court, or bureaucrat.)
3. Is this house, apartment, or mobile home…giving me three options as to whether it is (1) owned with a mortgage or loan; (2) owned free and clear of mortgage or debt; (3) rented; or (4) occupied without paying rent. I answered it but my answer isn’t any of your business so I’ll keep that to myself.
4. What is your telephone number? My wife asked me, “Why do they want to know that?” I told her, “Because they may call if they don’t understand an answer.” I gave them my phone number. I won’t tell you because I don’t want any crank calls. Besides I get enough phone calls wanting to ask me polling questions or soliciting money for some cause or other.
5. Then they asked the names of the people living here (excluding our cat and dog). I answered.
6. What is Person 1’s sex? At my age I had to ask my wife. I don’t have a Viagra or Cialis prescription. I haven’t had to be worried about “being ready” when the moment is right for years. But my sex life, or lack of it, isn’t your business or the Census Bureau’s business anyway.
7. What is my age and date of birth? I gave them. I’m not very vain.
8. Am I Hispanic, Latino, or Spanish origin? No option was presented for “Okie” so I answered “no.”
9 What is my race? I always thought I was Caucasian, but the only answer applicable for me was “white.”
10. Do I sometimes live or stay somewhere else? Well, no. Though sometimes I think I’m living in a “Sanford and Son” neighborhood of junk yards and junky yards. But then Pahrump isn’t exactly Beverly Hills.
That was it. Not at all painful. My wife and I are now counted. Having done my civil duty I can take comfort in the fact that Nevada will now receive $917 x 2 for the two of us and a brand spanking new Congressional District which just might release Nye County from Dean Heller’s jurisdiction. (Sorry about that. Just had to toss that in.)
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