The Tiddy Bear. Supplies are limited so call now. Kush Support — A boob separator for women who like to sleep on their sides but don’t like their breasts touching. It’s so unreasonably phallic we just don’t know what to say. $50 dollars! And now the Rejuvenique Electric Facial Mask — It’s like doing sit-ups for your face, only instead of doing something healthy you’re electrocuting yourself while dressed as a serial killer. Halloween IV and Jason. Watch: The Comfort Wipe — Wipe yourself without touching toilet paper. As they say in the ad, “Think about it, toilet paper is REALLY disgusting.” Now in the old days it was two red corn cobs and one white corn cob to be sure you got it all. Wasn’t $19.95 either. Toilet Paper Foam Moistener — Aah! Facial Flex — Forget about facelifts. And when you are having a bad hair day. Bumpits: Hair Volumizing Inserts — As they say in the infomercial, “It’s so fun to bump a pony.” Finally, AromaTrim. Guess it keeps you from eating brownies.

Remember AIG, Countrywide, Royal Bank of Scotland, Bank of America TV ads before the financial crisis and the bailouts?

Watch the AIG spot above. Recall that AIG made risky derivatives bets that nearly brought down the world economy. But, rest assured, AIG is proud that it knows the importance of taking chances in life!

“If nobody takes chances, if nobody pushes the boundaries, if nobody takes a stand, nothing great happens…”

It continues: “AIG – Insurance financial, services — and the freedom to dare.” [Huffington Post]

Now, take a look at Countrywide’s ad, which goes a long way toward describing their lending standards. You’ll recall, that Countrywide helped caused the subprime crisis:

“A growing family with a lot of debt, a young couple with no down payment a business owner who’s income was hard to document. Every one of them was turned down by 3 different lenders. I’m with Countrywide, and I got them all approved.”

Let’s continue on and watch a Royal Bank of Scotland ad:

In this ad from the bailed out Royal Bank Of Scotland, which is now 60 percent owned by taxpayers, customers are literally portrayed as sheep. Sheep, really?

“They’ve always been your bank, but do you bank with them or might they be banking on you? Might they be banking on your apathy, your acquiescence?”

Washington Mutual was the biggest bank failure in U.S. history. What brought the company down? It must have been the “flexible lending rules” described in this ad, which apparently can help you survive scalding hot liquids, trips to the dentist’s office, or being hit with bowling balls.

Yep, made his day. Now we can watch Bank of America’s ad: Jar of money, anyone?